Both fear and anxiety are provoked by danger. Fear is the response to a
specific and immediate danger. Anxiety results from a non-specific
concern or threat.
The purpose of fear is to keep you out of trouble. However, the nature of trouble has changed over the years. In ancient times, trouble was apt to be aggression from a wild animal, and the situation was resolved fairly quickly by fight or flight. And before the invention of modern weapons even aggression from another person was much less likely to be lethal. But in today's world we are troubled by a much wider range of problems. Industrialization happened fairly recently and has drastically increased the complexity and duration of stressful situations. Once most people worked for themselves, worked at home, or in a village, in familiar surroundings where they had a greater degree of control and autonomy. As industry urbanized the population more people go to noisy, crowded, sometimes toxic workplaces, doing jobs that are often repetitious, tiresome, and stressful. Management soon learned to impose quotas and strict rules, uncomfortable, sometimes dirty or hazardous conditions. Machines became larger, faster, and more numerous and threatening. Ever increasing traffic congestion, environmental degradation, weaponry and violence are examples of more lasting stressors. Even at home we are exposed to media that is constantly pandering illness, terror, war, crime, and atrocities. Today many threats are psychological rather than physical. Both are harmful and the extent of that harm depends on the intensity and the duration of the trauma and how early in life the trauma is experienced. Dysfunction means something that is impaired or abnormal. Most of us have experienced some dysfunction. Others of us have seen a lot of it, as in times of war, when it seems to taint almost everything and whole nations become dysfunctional. Certain family dynamics lead to excess stress, such as when a member of the family has mental illness, drug or alcohol problems, fanatical religious beliefs, physical disabilities, emotional problems, or is abusive. Dysfunctional families are often closed when it comes to getting outside help and keep their problems to themselves. Firm limits between parent and child may not be present. Rules may be non-existent or swing to the other extreme with rigid, inflexible rules and mandatory compliance. Dysfunctional families don’t cope with stress in a healthy manner. Escapism, alcohol or drugs are often a coping mechanism for stress. A member of a dysfunctional family may become depressed or feel overwhelmed at the scope of a particular problem. Blame is plentiful in a dysfunctional family. Rather than dealing with the stress that is causing problems, dysfunctional families lash out at each other. Cognitive Dissonance is the conflict between actions and beliefs. An example is taking a job where you are disrespected or expected to disrespect others, or where there is a feeling that what you are doing is exploitative or bad for the planet. Growing up surrounded by dysfunction, or in times of war, cognitive dissonance can cause prolonged inner conflicts. There are several direct triggers for fear, including: something hurling rapidly toward you, sudden loss of support, such as the floor giving way, the threat of physical pain. Also, there are any number of indirect triggers for fear, such as receiving a letter from the IRS, being called to the principal's office, or entering a dark room. People also fear losing control, humiliation, shame, or insignificance. The common theme is avoiding threats. Fear causes a variety of reactions depending on the intensity, timing, and coping options available. We estimate the risks and vulnerability of the threat almost instantly and then fight, freeze, focus, or flee based on this assessment. Sharply focusing our attention can mobilize us to act to reduce or eliminate the danger when we can take effective action to cope with the threat. We may run to escaping from the immediate danger. Or we may fight to destroy the object of our fear. Fear also often causes cold hands, deeper and more rapid breathing, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, sweating, dry mouth, and trembling or tightening of the muscles, especially in the arms and legs. Or freezing in place and feeling terror if we can't do anything to avoid the immediate danger, we may feel panic, including shortness of breath, racing heartbeat, and the inability to focus on anything but worrying about the feared future event. Instincts help us survive -- a heightened sense of our environment so that we could nourish ourselves and procreate. As we became more dependent upon machines and technology for our quality of life and survival, our instincts and senses diminished and our mental processes strengthened. As we became more and more identified with our minds as our source of supply and safety, our thoughts and emotions carried more weight. Fear shifted its focus from our instinctual nature to our emotional nature. Fear is not a rational response and can can cause us to make an irrational reactions to challenges we face. Fear imposes limits on our minds, removing our clarity and leaving only negative thought patterns. Fear causes us to act emotionally because we panic, our mind shuts down and we respond instinctively to protect ourselves Fear, anger and prolonged stress activates the sympathetic nervous system and puts the cells in "protection mode." Stress hormones shut down functions unnecessary during an emergency. Growth, reproduction, and the immune system all go on hold -- are shut off. If we let fears and negative beliefs and thought patterns control us we inhibit our cellular growth and can eventually produce disease. Guilt is a kind of fear that works best to help us grow and mature when our behavior has been offensive or hurtful to others or ourselves. Guilt is usually very situational and specific. Unhealthy guilt lingers and makes us feel badly for an legitimate reason. Even worse is having no guilt -- not having a conscience or feelings of guilt or remorse or concern for the well-being of others. When you feel guilty – is it trying to teach you something rational and helpful about your behavior, or is it just an emotional, irrational response to a situation. Guilt and Shame create within us beliefs about who we are and what we can or cannot become. This sense of unworthiness is toxic shame. Abuse creates toxic shame - the feeling of being flawed and diminished and never measuring up. Toxic shame feels much worse than guilt. With guilt, you've done something wrong; but you can repair that - you can do something about it. With toxic shame there's something wrong with you and there's nothing you can do about it; you are inadequate and defective. Toxic shame is the core of the wounded child. This meditation sums up the ways that the wonderful child got wounded. The loss of your I AMness is spiritual bankruptcy. The wonder child is abandoned and all alone. Fear of failure is one of the most crippling emotions that can limit your potential in life. Fear of social censure makes one feel isolated. Thoughts like these have the power to bring you down. They carry an energy that weighs down on your mind, because part of you is constantly thinking about it. The guilt begins popping up in everything you do. Our thoughts can easily become a downward spiral. While dwelling on a self-defeating thought pattern, if we do not interrupt it and consciously bring ourselves out, we can become paralyzed by fear and lack. Learn more and more about the object that you are afraid of. You want to chuck your job and plunge into your own business, but are afraid of the risks involved? Then the best way to reduce the fears is to consciously learn about the business in as much depth as you can. Preparation increases confidence and calms those butterflies in the stomach.
It is important to develop a conscious strategy to be more centered and balanced.
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Monday, September 24, 2012
Fear
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