Both fear and anxiety are provoked by danger. Fear is the response to a
specific and immediate danger. Anxiety results from a non-specific
concern or threat.
The
purpose of fear is to keep you out of trouble. However, the nature of
trouble has changed over the years. In ancient times, trouble was
apt to be aggression from a wild animal, and the situation was resolved
fairly quickly by fight or flight. And before the invention of modern
weapons even aggression from another person was much less likely to be
lethal.
But in today's world we are troubled by a much wider range
of problems. Industrialization happened fairly recently and has
drastically increased the complexity and duration of stressful
situations. Once most people worked for themselves, worked at home, or
in a village, in familiar surroundings where they had a greater
degree of control and autonomy.
As industry urbanized the
population more people go to noisy, crowded, sometimes toxic
workplaces, doing jobs that are often repetitious, tiresome, and
stressful. Management soon learned to impose quotas and strict rules,
uncomfortable, sometimes dirty or hazardous conditions. Machines became
larger, faster, and more numerous and threatening. Ever increasing
traffic congestion, environmental degradation, weaponry and violence
are examples of more lasting stressors. Even at home we are exposed to
media that is constantly pandering illness, terror, war, crime, and
atrocities.
Today many threats are psychological rather than physical. Both are harmful
and the extent of that harm depends on the intensity and the duration
of the trauma and how early in life the trauma is experienced.
Dysfunction means something that is impaired or abnormal. Most of us
have experienced some dysfunction. Others of us have seen a lot
of it, as in times of war, when it seems to taint almost everything and whole nations become dysfunctional.
Certain
family dynamics lead to excess stress, such as when a member of the
family has mental illness, drug or alcohol problems, fanatical
religious beliefs, physical disabilities, emotional problems, or is
abusive. Dysfunctional families are often closed when it comes to getting outside help
and keep their problems to themselves. Firm limits between parent and
child may not be present. Rules may be non-existent or swing to the other extreme with rigid,
inflexible rules and mandatory compliance.
Dysfunctional
families don’t cope with stress in a healthy manner. Escapism, alcohol or drugs
are often a coping mechanism for stress. A member of a dysfunctional
family may become depressed or feel overwhelmed at the scope of a
particular problem. Blame is plentiful in a dysfunctional family.
Rather than dealing with the stress that is causing problems,
dysfunctional families lash out at each other.
Cognitive
Dissonance is the conflict between actions and beliefs. An example is
taking a job where you are disrespected or expected to disrespect
others, or where there is a feeling that what you are doing is exploitative or bad for the planet. Growing up surrounded by dysfunction,
or in times of war, cognitive dissonance can cause prolonged inner
conflicts.
There are several direct triggers for
fear, including: something hurling rapidly toward you, sudden loss of
support, such as the floor giving way, the threat of physical pain.
Also, there are any number of indirect triggers for fear, such as
receiving a letter from the IRS, being called to the principal's
office, or entering a dark room. People also fear losing control,
humiliation, shame, or insignificance. The common theme is avoiding
threats.
Fear causes a variety of reactions depending on the
intensity, timing, and coping options available. We estimate the risks and vulnerability of the threat
almost instantly and then fight, freeze, focus, or flee based on this
assessment. Sharply focusing our attention can mobilize us to act to reduce or
eliminate the danger when we can take effective action to cope with the
threat.
We may run to escaping from the immediate danger. Or we may fight to destroy the object of our fear. Fear
also often causes cold hands, deeper and more rapid breathing,
increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, sweating, dry mouth,
and trembling or tightening of the muscles, especially in the arms and
legs. Or freezing in place and feeling terror if we can't do anything to avoid
the immediate danger, we may feel panic, including shortness of breath,
racing heartbeat, and the inability to focus on anything but worrying
about the feared future event.
Instincts help us survive -- a
heightened sense of our environment so that we could nourish ourselves
and procreate. As we became more dependent upon machines
and technology for our quality of life and survival, our
instincts and senses diminished and our mental processes strengthened.
As we became more and more identified with our minds as our source of
supply and safety, our thoughts and emotions carried more weight. Fear
shifted its focus from our instinctual nature to our emotional nature.
Fear is not a rational response and can can cause us to make an irrational reactions to challenges we face. Fear
imposes limits on our minds, removing our clarity and leaving only
negative thought patterns. Fear causes us to act emotionally because we
panic, our mind shuts down and we respond instinctively to protect
ourselves
Fear, anger and prolonged stress activates the sympathetic nervous system and puts the cells in "protection mode." Stress hormones shut down functions unnecessary during an emergency. Growth, reproduction, and the immune system all go on hold -- are shut off. If we let fears and negative beliefs and thought patterns control us we inhibit our cellular growth and can eventually produce disease.
Guilt
is a kind of fear that works best to help us grow and mature when our
behavior has been offensive or hurtful to others or ourselves. Guilt is
usually very situational and specific. Unhealthy guilt lingers
and makes us feel badly for an legitimate reason. Even worse is having
no guilt -- not having a conscience or feelings of guilt or remorse or
concern for the well-being of others.
When
you feel guilty – is it trying to teach you something rational and
helpful about your behavior, or is it just an emotional, irrational
response to a situation. Guilt and Shame create within us beliefs about who we are and what we can or cannot become. This
sense of unworthiness is toxic shame. Abuse creates toxic shame - the
feeling of being flawed and diminished and never measuring up. Toxic
shame feels much worse than guilt. With guilt, you've done something
wrong; but you can repair that - you can do something about it.
With
toxic shame there's something wrong with you and there's nothing you
can do about it; you are inadequate and defective. Toxic shame is the
core of the wounded child. This meditation sums up the ways that the
wonderful child got wounded. The loss of your I AMness is spiritual
bankruptcy. The wonder child is abandoned and all alone.
Fear of failure is one of the most crippling
emotions that can limit your potential in life. Fear of social censure
makes one feel isolated. Thoughts like these have the power to
bring you down. They carry an energy that weighs down on your mind,
because part of you is constantly thinking about it. The guilt begins
popping up in everything you do. Our thoughts can easily become
a downward spiral. While dwelling on a self-defeating thought pattern,
if we do not interrupt it and consciously bring ourselves out, we can
become paralyzed by fear and lack.
Learn more and more about the
object that you are afraid of. You want to chuck your job and plunge
into your own business, but are afraid of the risks involved? Then the
best way to reduce the fears is to consciously learn about the business
in as much depth as you can. Preparation increases confidence and calms
those butterflies in the stomach.
It is important to develop a conscious strategy to be more centered and balanced.
- Meditation - calms and balances your energy and is the gateway to better awareness.
- Affirmations - Use self-affirmations that give a positive spin to whatever it is that you fear.
- Visualization
– Positive visualization is projecting an image of yourself overcoming
your fears, and is a powerful technique to fight your fears.
- Watch your language when
speaking to another person. Watch the phrases you use, are you making
excuses? Are you justifying a situation with thoughts of lack and
limitation?
- Stress hormones
- Emotional scars
- 3 Magic Words - a new movie that explores the metaphysical realms of time and space and presents a new way for people to see themselves beyond their physical existence.
- Dr Joe Dispenza on FEAR More
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